I will fully admit to not understanding the whole mustache meme. What’s that all about? Why does everyone have a big black fake Mr. Pringles stache all of a sudden? Kid these days. I don’t really get it. Of course, my father had a full mustache and beard for basically all of his life, so maybe I just associate it with dad things and not the apparent old-timey whimsy it’s supposed to imply. Or maybe I’m just old curmudgeony, instead of timey. What can I say, I’m just a sucker for some soft, smooth skin. Still, on Catherine Deneuve I will accept any and all facial hair. And a bowler. And a bowtie. And cufflinks. Sweet fancy Moses, I love cufflinks. Though, other than Catherine, staches just aren’t my jam. (That is what the youths are calling it, no?) I dunno. But I do know that while we may have to agree to disagree on fake facial hair, I hope we can all agree that a lady in menswear will never go out of style. Plus, she has the added bonus of never having to worry about – shall we say – unfortunate mustache tickle. And, to make amends for dissing the old-timey mustache, how about some old-timey black and white gender fuck.
I used to have a real thing for double-breasted suits. I mean, the name alone.
Shoulder pads, on the other hand, I never had a thing for. But all of a sudden I don’t mind so much.
Proper tailoring is critical to allow movement. Yay, tailoring.
Not everyone can pull off all white. Luckily Milla is not everyone.
However, everyone should have a lounging around tuxedo. It should be, like, a rule.
Seriously, I think this lounging around tuxedo rule could be revolutionary.
Admit it, most of your wildest dreams aren’t nearly this delicious.
Now this kind of old-timey has my full endorsement.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I liked “Inception.” It was like one of those M.C. Escher paintings from you college dorm room came to life, spun around a dozen times and then spit out that guy from “Titanic” and that gal from “Juno.” Also, who doesn’t love Ellen Page in an assortment of neckerchiefs? But what I really want is a little lady action. Sure Marion Cotillard gets to brandish a weapon here and there. But I crave is the big, bad-ass ladies with even bigger guns. I mean, damn Michelle Rodriguez, damn. So now the only question is, old school or new school? Decisions, decisions.
Annie’s got not one, but two guns. As it should be.
Well now, Ms. Ballou, I like the way you point that thing.
This is her just hanging at the shooting range in leather pants.
She wasn’t called Foxy Brown for nothing.
Admittedly, this is just adorable. I mean, a sun hat – come on.
Modern girls know how to double-fist it, too.
No American version needed, thank you very much.
Two girls, one shotgun. So much better.
In my dream scenario Agent Sarah Walker and Agent Annie Walker meet and compare, um, guns.
Yes, I know, we already had a lengthy discussion about sodium content this week. But Ebert gave “Salt” four stars, and I want it to do well this weekend. Ladies first, ya know.
