Gender Fuck Thursday: Break the Tie Edition

Tied! Untied! Tied! Untied! Tied! Untied! OK, you get where I’m going here, right? I’ve discussed my love of a nice tie – bow or neck – in the past. But the question always remains – tied or untied? Which is sexier? Often it’s situational. Start of the date: tied. End of the date: untied. Really, the great thing about a tie is its ability to be either or, whenever you want it. Fine, too much kumbatie for you? Then go ahead and decide for yourself. Tied? Untied? Delightfully loose like Noni? Some choices are just…fun.

Janelle MonaeTied, definitely tied.

Jane LynchWait, untied, definitely untied.

Noomi RapaceDammit. No, I mean it, tied.

Kate WinsletNo! I was so wrong. Untied!

Regina SpektorFine. I give up.

Monica BellucciI said I give up.

Hope SoloNow you’re just hurting me.

Naomi WattsOfficially dead.

Right, so what did you decide? Tied or untied? I know, both.

Gender Fuck Thursday

There is no one way to properly gender fuck. In fact, it’s the variation that makes it so terribly delicious. Who says you need to wear a tie? Or a jacket? Or even pants? Wait, I think I’m getting off track here. What it’s really all about is owning your look and looking damn good no matter what you’re wearing. Sure, we can’t all look as flawless as Katharine Hepburn in a full suit and hat. But these ladies sure do their part fucking with gender in their own special way.

Billie Piper in suspenders
Winona Ryder in a smoking jacket
Evan Rachel Wood in a uniform
Zhang Ziyi in an Annie Hall
Pink in a vest
Melanie Laurent in no jacket
Piper Perabo in no tie
Drew Barrymore in no shirt
Sofia Coppola in an untied tie
Julie Andrews in a neatly tied tie
Gemma Arterton in a tuxedo
Keeley Hawes & Rachael Stirling in full tux, tails & top hat

Ah, yes, variety is truly the spice of gender fuck.

Crack open a good book

Every New Year, I make a resolution to read more. Not that I don’t read, clearly. I read every single day, all the time, non-fucking-stop. Newspapers, magazines, books, The Internets. But I don’t always read the best writing. And I don’t always read as many really great books as I’d like to. So this New Year, once again, I’m making a pledge to be good to myself and my brain and pick up some excellent books. They say print is dead, but you’ll never look as sexy holding a Kindle as you do a book – trust me.

Christina Ricci
Audrey Hepburn
Emily Haines
Marilyn Monroe
Evangeline Lilly
Marion Cotillard
Jessica Stam
Kate Winslet
Winona Ryder
Alyson HanniganWillow is my favorite book nerd, period.

So ladies, let me have it, what should I be reading this year?

Gender Fuck Thursday: Red Carpet Attire

So in the last week or so I’ve noticed a lot of ladies showing up on the red carpet in full men’s wear. I’m not talking just a petite blazer over a pencil skirt, but a real formal suit. Obviously, I’m all for this. And, being driven by the unwavering pursuit of scientific excellence, my next step was naturally to conduct my own thorough research into this phenomena. And because no scientific finding can be verified without a thorough peer review, I present my findings to you. If science was always like this in high school, I would have become a nuclear physicist.

Leighton MeesterThis is a full-on traditional men’s suit. I approve.

Olivia WildeThis is a full-on traditional 80s suit. I disapprove.

Winona RyderThis looks like she stole it from Marilyn Manson’s closet. But, it’s Noni and she does an amazing job with her small but crucial part in “Black Swan.” So, um, forgiven.

Jane LynchThis looks like she stole it from the set of “Night at the Roxbury.” But, it’s Jane fucking Lynch. So, forgiven forever.

Julianne MooreFifty is the new OMFGHOWHOTISTHAT?

Christina HendricksThat thump you just heard was the sound of lesbians everywhere hitting the floor after passing out.

Diane KeatonLadies look good in white suits, too. Usually, better than men.

Janelle MonaeSometimes a lot better than men.

Tilda SwintonSometimes there is no gender, only Tilda Swinton.

Ellen DeGeneresHell, Ellen doesn’t even need a suit jacket. She already has the most beautiful life-size boutonniere you could ever want.

I think all these lovely ladies may have blinded me a little with their science. While I try to regain sight, tell me which of these specimens you find the finest. Science, it’s irrefutable.

Gender Fuck Thursday

Dude, I have been all serious issues are serious with my posts this week. I blame the switch to Daylight Savings Time. Dark skies, dark thoughts. So, I think it’s time again for a little unapologetic (yet respectful and, um, empowering) objectification. And you know my absolute favorite thing to objectify after Tina Fey and women in tank tops? Yep, ladies in suits. Those sharp tailored lines against those gentle swooping curves is just too delicious to ignore for too long. In fact, I feel terribly remiss for not having posted a GFT since, gasp, September. And here we are entering into the winter months and everything. So grab a nice warm jacket, preferably with a lady still inside it, and let’s wrap ourselves in some happy. P.S. If she has a kick-ass wristcuff like Isabelle Huppert above, all the better.

Evan Rachel WoodNormally I would always recommend wearing pants with your jacket, but not today.

Aubrey Plaza“Parks & Recreation” finally returns to NBC at 9:30pm Jan. 20, followed by “30 Rock” at 10pm. Amy & Tina are together again, plus more April, more Ron and more Pawnee! Whee!

Winona RyderIf you had a crush on Winona in the 90s and you know it, clap your hands.

Janelle MonaeIf I looked this good in a tux, I’d wear one every day, too.

Jennifer Jason LeighHey, Leighton and Minka, you’ve got nothing on this Single White Female (even though I don’t think she is actually single, but that ruins the joke).

Tilda SwintonObligatory.

Katharine HepburnEven more obligatory.

Wool suit season, welcome back.