Tank Top Tuesday: TV Time

Between the return of winter TV and the start of pilot season, so much has happened that I think we’re going to need to review the revised landscape with clear-eyed, in-depth, critical analysis. In other words, we’re going to review it with tank top.

Sarah Michelle GellarSMG is coming back to TV. If that doesn’t get you excited check your pulse. If you don’t have a pulse, look out for SMG because she may be coming to stake you. Old habits die hard.

Minka KellyShe’s one of the new Angels on the “Charlie’s Angels” reboot. If the show is a hit, will boyfriend Derek Jeter start playing for Anaheim as a show of solidarity?

Adrianne PalickiPeople agree on two things when it comes to David E. Kelley’s new “Wonder Woman” series. 1) They love Adrianne’s casting as Wonder Woman. 2) They hate the pilot script with a fiery passion.

Zooey DeschanelShe is going to star in a pilot for a project that had the working title “Chicks and Dicks.” It’s hard to think of a title with less appeal to gay ladies, unless you called it “Dicks and Dicks,” but then it’d be a reality show on Logo and I’d totally watch that with several cocktails and my best gays.

Laura PreponI really liked her better as a redhead. But then I guess you have to embrace the peroxide to play Chelsea Handler, and the vodka.

Anna TorvFringe is now on Friday, but mostly I just wanted to post her holding this gun. Mmmm.

Jennifer Beals“The Chicago Code” broke out the white tank top for the very first episode. It’s blatant pandering to the lesbians, and we like it.

Sarah Shahi“Fairly Legal” isn’t a great TV show or anything. But it’s fun and Sarah has showed up in her underwear. So, you know, sold.

Caroline DhavernasI stopped watching “Off the Map” for the same reasons I don’t watch “Grey’s Anatomy.” Doctors with personal problems (with or without borders) just aren’t my thing. But I still love you, Jaye Tyler.

Sofia VergaraNothing new is happening with “Modern Family,” but when you have a chance to post a picture like this, you take it.

So, what new TV pilot or show has your temperature rising. And, remember, please phrase your answer in the form of a tank top.

Dr. Wonder-ful

Jaye Tyler is back! Sort of. Fine, still maybe only in my head. But Caroline Dhavernas, the artist formerly known as Jaye Tyler, is definitely back. The former “Wonderfalls” star (and my forever crush), has been cast as one of the leads in “Grey’s Anatomy” creator Shonda Rhimes’ newest medical drama. Yes, Wonderfallers, wrap your head around Jaye playing a doctor. I mean, I’ve thought about playing doctor with her quite a bit, but that’s different – different in a good way.

I’ve expressed my extreme, eternal love for all things “Wonderfalls” before here (and, yes, I still have the smooshed-face wax lion). I have the box set. I have the “I Surrender to Destiny” hoodie. And sometimes, when I’m feeling blue, I play the bouncy theme song and dream about inanimate objects talking to me.

Now, my conundrum is that I don’t really watch “Grey’s Anatomy” or any Shonda Rhimes productions, for that matter. I’m just not huge with the navel gazing (the lesbian couple gazing, however, is much appreciated). Also, another medical drama, Shonda? Are you going for a medical drama hat trick? This drama, called “Off the Map,” follows three American doctors who move to the jungles of South America to work at a free clinic.

Caroline will play Lily who, according to TV Guide, is a young doctor who heads to the jungle to escape tragedy. Awww, sad Jaye Tyler? Joining her will be Manny (played by “Without a Trace” alum Enrique Murciano), an “egotistical plastic surgeon,” and Meena (not cast yet), “an infectious disease specialist with a shadowy past.”

I can see the love triangle already. But maybe, just maybe, Shonda will remember the rabid devotion Calzona (and previously Callica) fans have lavished on Grey’s and make it an unexpected love triangle. Like, say, Lily lost her longtime college girlfriend in a tragic field hockey accident and then flees to South America where she is comforted by Meena. Meanwhile Meena, who has had a series of relationships with men that never felt quite right (or lasted very long), finds herself unexpectedly attracted to both Manny and Lily. Things get sweaty. Mosquito netting gets tangled. Lots of tank tops are worn. Boom – I’ve just written your first season for you, Shonda. You’re welcome.