EVERYONE Needs to Know The Difference Loving A Baby Makes!

Part 1

 “A baby is born with a need to be loved – and never outgrows it”                                                       ~Frank A. Clark

I just read a new research study and cannot wait to share it with EVERYONE!  It is thrilling to me every time we have additional scientific research demonstrating how important love and nurturing is to the brain….. and how important those early months after birth are!     

Those of you that know me or follow my work already know the intense passion I have for making early brain development common knowledge.  And it continues to baffle me why this is not yet information that every parent, grandparent, educator, medical professional, social worker, community leader, policy maker, business leader, and voter knows! Every adult needs to know the impact the experiences in the early years has on the developing brain.  Science has been demonstrating this to us for years.  Now economists are revealing how cost beneficial it is for us to know this—and to do something about it!

The primary focus of the awareness I want to create is the understanding of the dramatic and impactful difference loving a baby makes on the physical development of the brain.  This research clearly shows the powerful influence that results from positive early care giving experiences.

Good Parenting Triumphs Over Prenatal Stress

The new study represents the first, direct human evidence that fetuses exposed to elevated levels of the stress hormone cortisol may have trouble paying attention or solving problems later on. But what may be more intriguing is the study’s second finding – that this negative link disappears almost entirely if the mother forges a secure connection with her baby.

Early interactions set up the basis for expectations, self perception, self regulation, and relationships throughout life.  Babies need loving interaction, attuned parents, and touch as much they need nutrition. In the braininsights® February newsletter I included a clip on Harry Harlow’s famous study demonstrating this need.

We can no longer let this information be ignored. This latest research ignites my desires to share all of this even more deeply (if that is possible!). My dream is to have the parent of every newborn learn how to easily provide the consistent care taking and loving interaction their baby NEEDS! 

If I could I would donate a Love Your Baby brain development packet to every parent of every newborn!  Since I cannot afford to do that at this time, below are a few interaction tips from the Love Your Baby packet with brain development information from the baby’s perspective:

LOVING ME CALMS ME
Realize that loving me does NOT spoil me. Show the love you feel for me through all of the interactions we have together.
Brain Insight
Taking care of my needs does not “spoil” me. Comforting me when I need you helps me learn to trust that you will take care of my needs. I will be calmer as my brain learns I can expect you to take care of me.

SHOWING YOU THE ATTENTION I NEED
Notice how important your attention is to me. Tune into how I let you know when I need comforting or just a fun connection with you.
Brain Insight
Attention and contact with you is what matters most in this stage of brain development. The first 18 months are the most important for the foundation of my emotional development.

WHAT DO I LIKE?
Notice what I like and respond to. Try to tune in to the level of activity I seem to need. If I seem active, do a more playful activity. When I want to be calm, read a story, hold me close, or sing a lullaby to me.
Brain Insight
My brain is not developed enough to adjust to different activity levels easily on my own. I really need you to match your behavior to my needs.

This is what babies want ALL adults to know. Do what you can to help create this awareness. … because we all benefit from all children with well developed brains!

Hopefully you see why I am so excited to share this research. It gives proof of the significant difference we can all make!  There is much more to say and share with you on this so make sure you sign up to receive Part II  -  Understanding Attachment Through the Eyes of a Baby.

January Newsletter: The Importance of Imagination

Check out the January issue of the braininsights newsletter here.  This month's issue focuses on the importance of imagination and creativity. 

View past newsletters or sign up to have the free newsletter delivered to your inbox here.

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Helping Others Helps the Brain

Today we honor and celebrate a great man in American history, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.  His vision of equality and serving others has enhanced our nation.  To properly honor and remember him, Congress created the National Day of Service.  On this day and throughout the year, you and your children can help others while helping your brain at the same time.

The brain benefits by activating the reward centers when we give to others. Research has demonstrated when giving, the brain releases dopamine which is responsible for the feelings of euphoria. Additionally, it has been shown that the hormone oxytocin was released in study participants. This increases levels of trust and cooperation.

Isn't it wonderful to realize that the pleasure areas of the brain respond to not only what is good for ourselves but also to what is good for other people?!

To help develop this, following are some activities to do with your children that will also helps others:

One For You 

Give  the child the opportunity to have an item and give an item to someone else. For example:

Say, “Here is a book for you. Can you give the other book to (name of another child)?”

Note: Toddlers do share, but the brain isn’t ready to completely understand sharing at very young ages.  At this age giving something to someone when they have the same thing will be the best way to practice.

Doing Nice Things Makes “Cents” 

Provide a “giving jar” and a supply of pennies. Every time someone in the family does something nice or thoughtful for someone else, a penny can be added to the jar. At the end of the year use the money to donate to a cause you want to support or help.

Write or Draw for Someone

Set time aside regularly (once a week or once a month) to have your child write a letter or draw a picture to send to someone.  This could be sent to a relative or friend, someone that is sick or hospitalized, a deployed military person, etc.

Celebration Give Away

At each holiday or birthday, give the child an extra gift to give away. Your child’s brain reward center will benefit most when involved in deciding who should receive the gift.

To find more opportunities to serve, visit www.allforgood.org

Comments From Your Child About Holiday Shopping!

I know holiday shopping with me can be frustrating and difficult at times. I really don’t want to be a problem when you take me along. I realize you have a lot to do and you want me to be good so you can get it all done, but, my brain doesn’t always allow me to be perfect. I do like when you take me with you because my brain is curious and I get to see new things. I also love being with you!

So here are some ideas I have so we can have a good time together!

My brain doesn’t like to be bored and it also doesn’t like to be over stimulated. I need interesting things to keep it entertained, but if I get too much stimulation I will need you to help me to relax. My brain is not good at this on my own yet.

               (3 -6 year olds)

•   Give me a coupon with a picture on it. Make it a fun “treasure hunt” to find this item as we go through the isles together.

• Have me help you find the items you need by giving me simple directions. For example: Ask me to get the red box or pick the smallest size can, or the item on the bottom shelf.
  
  

               (1 – 4 year olds)

•   While waiting in line, name an item for me to find and point to. Or point to a picture on magazine and have me name it.

                                   

               (3 – 5 year olds)

• As we turn down a new isle name a color. Have me point out items of that color as we  go through the row. Or to add variety, name a shape to look for.

My brain also likes physical activity and using all of the senses. Exploring is how my brain learns. So, I will like touching and trying out things I see.  If you guide me to or provide things that are safe to touch this will be best.  Much of this is all new to me, and do not realize what might happen if I touch, push or pull on something without your guidance.

                (0-3 year olds)

•  While we shop give items to try out. Let me feel different textures or hear the sounds items  make.  Since my brain learns through repetition I may want to do it again and again. Use descriptive words for the textures and sounds I am experiencing too. My brain likes to hear lots of language from you about objects in my world.

                 (3 – 6 year olds)

• Have me close my eyes and listen to all the sounds. Have me tell you all that I hear.
  
  

• Have me help you put items on the counter as you get ready to checkout. We could count together as we do this.

            

I really like it when you give me positive attention . When we are having fun together I will feel good.  My brain will then not react in negative ways to get you to pay attention to me. 

                 (2 – 6 year olds)

• Let me tell you about all that I see and am interested in as we shop. I get excited about all of the new things I am learning and want to share it with you!

                 (All ages)

• Sing holiday songs with me while we wait in line.
  
  

            

When I am  hungry or tired it is more likely you will have to deal with acting out behaviors. I really am not trying to be “bad’, my brain is just reacting to what it needs. My brain is not developed to the point of being able to control how I feel yet. I need you to understand and offer support.

• Bring water and healthy snacks along.

• Begin shopping after everyone has had enough sleep. Plan shopping before my bed time or after my naps.

With all of this in mind, let’s have a wonderful time together!  My favorite thing to do is spend fun and loving times with you!

For brain development as perfect gifts take advantage of the "brain buster " special at braininisights this week-end!  (Friday, November 27th - Sunday, November 29th)

http://www.braininsightsonline.com

November Newsletter: Holidays With The Brain In Mind

Read the November Newsletter with great information on how to have a happy brain and a happy holiday season.  Read the newsletter here