Providing Predictability and Love

One of the primary reasons I started braininsights was to create an understanding of the impact loving interaction has on the developing brain. My intent is to help develop a greater awareness of the need for and positive effects of attachment. Early relationships have a direct influence on our brain development and create expectations for relationships later in life.

Mark Brady, Ph.D. contributes a wealth of information on this topic in his writing. I most enjoy his writing about what he states is the, “Big Brain Question”. Below are some pieces from his contributions on this topic.

The healthy brain is an anticipation-prediction machine. When we operate in environments where there is little predictability and we have little idea what to anticipate from one moment to the next, chronic stress results. There’s ONE question that all brains want answered, and they want it answered, “Yes.” Parent’s brains, children’s brains, all brains. And they don’t want a lukewarm “Yes,” or a “Maybe Yes” or a “Getting-to-Yes Yes.” They want a substantial, resounding, unequivocal, “YES!” Yes. When the answer is something other than “Yes.” if the answer is “Maybe,” or “I’m not sure,” a confusion and uncertainty begins to take shape in our brains. The Question our brains ask is …… Are you there for me…? Do I matter enough that you’ll put me first when I need you to? Can I count on you to attend to me in the ways I need you to? Do I truly and deeply matter to you? These questions are being asked – nonverbally through behavior often – and when they get answered “Yes,” we can relax and begin to feel safe in our relationships. The self-preservation structures of the brain continually monitor our environment and the people in it for safety. Our survival depends upon it. We generally love the people we feel the safest being around, and the emotional responsiveness often identified as love arises out of this safe “felt sense.”

In creating the, Love Your Baby packet I wanted to provide parents with information and ideas to easily answer this important question!

Mark Brady is the author of Safe and Secure and the blog, The Committed Parent.

To order Love Your Baby or other brain development activity packets visit http://www.braininsightsonline.com/.