Tank Top Tuesday: Summer TV Edition

You know what I love? Summer TV. I mean, I love TV in general, clearly. But summer TV is a breed unto itself. When I was a kid I don’t really recall having a summer TV season. We called it reruns. But now we’ve got entire shows that only come on when the temperature rises. And something about running in the summer, perhaps the heat or the fact that people are daydreaming about vacation, that makes them more fun. There’s a wink and a nod involved in some of the best summer shows. Leave the serious stuff for those cold, windy months. When the weather gets warm, the TV gets sunny. And when the weather gets warm, the stars of our favorite summer shows, like the lovely Mary-Louise Parker, have a habit of reaching for the tank tops. Like I was saying, I love summer TV.

Mary McCormack, In Plain SightI’m not going to lie, I love all of the pregnancy boob humor the show has gone for this season.



Marsha Thomason, White CollarShe certainly put the “special” in special agent. I demand to see more of Diana and her girlfriend in their “shegulls nest.”



Piper Perabo, Covert AffairsIs it just me, or has this show greatly improved this season? I think it’s because Annie gets to be a real kick-ass agent now, instead of just a pawn used to get to her ex-boyfriend. Also, there’s been a tad less ridiculous running around in high heels.



Kiele Sanchez, The GladesThis show hits my crime procedural sweet spot. Charismatic leads, good chemistry and interesting yet not too scary cases. And Kiele is not exactly terrible to look at either.



Troian Bellisario, Pretty Little LiarsHer voice makes me want to commit a crime, which she will then try to solve. Please come hide in my bushes, Spencer. Wait, that sounded…just about right.



Shay Mitchell, Pretty Little LiarsFor someone freshly out, Emily sure has amassed quite a string of girlfriends already. Maya, Paige, Samara. Though, if you were a teenage lesbian who looked like Shay Mitchell, you wouldn’t be single long either.



Kristin Bauer & friend Liz Vassey, True BloodIn honor of Pam, I declare “think of Estonia” as a new euphemism for cunnilingus.



Rutina Wesley, True BloodOn that note, I’m so glad Tara is thinking of Estonia this season. So glad.



Sasha Alexander, Rizzoli & IslesOh, Dr. Isles. How I’ve missed you and your high femme flirty ways.

Check out AfterEllen.com later today for the return of my Rizzoli & Isles Subtext Recaps.

Bite Me

I have a thing for vampires, this is no secret. The fangs, the biting, the immortality. That’s one sexy combo. It helps that lady vampires are being portrayed right now on screen – both big and small – by some very attractive actresses. So with Halloween approaching, I thought we’d pay tribute to these toothsome talents. But why mindlessly ogle when you can make it a cutthroat competition? Let’s sink our teeth into the beautiful bloodsuckers from the three biggest vampire series out currently (“True Blood,” “The Vampire Diaries” and the “Twilight” saga) and see which group tastes the best.

TRUE BLOOD

PamHot, blonde and into chicks.

Sophie-AnneHot, ginger and into chicks.

JessicaHot, ginger and not into chicks, but I would happily spend an eternity trying to convert her.

THE VAMPIRE DIARIES

KatherineEvil, but has a good doppelganger so, you know, kind of the best of both worlds.

CarolineI like her so much better as a vampire than a human, is that wrong?

IsobelWe all knew Jenny Schecter was a vampire already, this is just more upfront about it.

TWILIGHT

Esme and Alice CullenDoes the fact that they’re not really mother and daughter makes it any less creepy that I think they make a nice looking couple? OK, still no.

RosalieI’m just going to say it, I don’t like Nikki Reed as a blonde.

JaneDoes the fact that her character is, like, 1,000 years old make it any less creepy that she is actually 16? OK, still no.

So, which lady vamps do it for you? Who sucks the least, figuratively? Or the most, literally? Yes, I know I went there with all the bad puns. Bite me.