My Weekend Crush

I swear to the TV gods, if they kill Jessica I will never watch “True Blood” again. That’s a little dramatic, I know. But it’s all because of Deborah Ann Woll. Her baby vamp Jessica is the Willow of “True Blood.” Put her in danger and it causes instant fan heart attacks. It’s only fitting that Deborah plays someone supernatural. That milky skin. That flaming hair. She’s so pretty it has to be supernatural. Jessica’s evolution has been subtle and fascinating to watch. Her love for Hoyt, her struggles with her nature, her claiming of her power. Deborah has made Jessica the perhaps the most sympathetic character in the “True Blood” universe. A victim who is coming into her own, a young woman finding herself. In Bon Temps’ tangled web of switching allegiances, constant power struggles and complicated romantic couplings, Jessica’s fate is the one that tends to worry me most. So, as I was saying, get the fuck up off the ground and do something, Jason. Happy weekend, all.

Gender Fuck Thursday

Aw hell, why not. Let’s bring back all of the classics this week. First a few tank tops, then SGALGG and now your friend and mine, gender fuck. It is Thursday, after all. So, let’s just wallow in the loveliness that is ladies looking lovely, with a little (or a lotta) splash of butch. Because, kittens, for real – I could stare at Cate Blanchett in an oversized suit and nothing else forever. For. Ever.

Janelle MonaeNever mind The Great Gatsby, this is The Magnificent Monae.

Laura HarrisSure, Angie Harmon was also on “Women’s Murder Club.” But Jill Laura wore the suits and had The Haircut.

Audrey TautouWhite suit with no shirt...

Ruby Rose...or white suit with no pants...

Catherine Zeta-Jones...or big white shirt with no pants? Decisions, decisions.

Christina HendricksI’m not feeling the haircut or the corduroy jacket. But still, it’s Hendricks in a suit and tie so, come on, how bad can it be?

Deborah Ann Woll

Red hair, glasses, suspenders, loose shirt. Now that, that I’m totally feeling.

Tilda SwintonAnd here I believe Tilda’s hand placement is exactly mirroring my feelings about this outfit.

Juliette BinocheThis picture makes me realize why in France, the only difference between the word for “the kiss” and “to fuck” is a little “le.”

Vacation Vixen: Deborah Ann Woll

This is not a tank top. Will you ever forgive me?

Naked Lady Monday: Black & White Edition

Admit it, things seem classier in black and white. So what might look like just a naked lady in color will look like an artistic naked lady in black and white. Such is the power of the monochrome. So then we feel a little better about ogling because, you know, the art and culture and stuff. Just look at Kristin Scott Thomas pulling her best Joan of Arc. That’s not just classy nakedness, it’s historical. Black and white can turn “nekkid” back to “naked.” Wait, is that a good thing? Regardless, a little black and white is exactly what is in order this Monday, to help turn make might otherwise be NSFW into a refined collection of semi-nude portraiture. Or, at least, that’s what you can tell your boss.

Deborah Ann WollI just finished watching season 3 of “True Blood” and Jessica was criminally, criminally underused. Criminally so.

Amber HeardHot. Gay. Hot some more.

Charlotte GainsbourgNo one wears scarves better than French women.

Penelope CruzThe curve of a woman’s back is one of the ways we know we live in a benevolent universe.

Olivia WildeThe round of a woman’s bum is another.

Charlotte RamplingLet’s make it a rule that all women named “Charlotte” need to get naked today.

Rosario DawsonRosario isn’t nude. But she’s not wearing pants either. Totally counts.

Heather MorrisYeah, so no wonder Santana is doing everything she can do to win Brittany back.

EDIT: Whoops, that should be Naked Lady Monday not Naked Lady Woman. Though there ain’t nothing wrong with a naked lady woman. Nothing at all.

Bite Me

I have a thing for vampires, this is no secret. The fangs, the biting, the immortality. That’s one sexy combo. It helps that lady vampires are being portrayed right now on screen – both big and small – by some very attractive actresses. So with Halloween approaching, I thought we’d pay tribute to these toothsome talents. But why mindlessly ogle when you can make it a cutthroat competition? Let’s sink our teeth into the beautiful bloodsuckers from the three biggest vampire series out currently (“True Blood,” “The Vampire Diaries” and the “Twilight” saga) and see which group tastes the best.

TRUE BLOOD

PamHot, blonde and into chicks.

Sophie-AnneHot, ginger and into chicks.

JessicaHot, ginger and not into chicks, but I would happily spend an eternity trying to convert her.

THE VAMPIRE DIARIES

KatherineEvil, but has a good doppelganger so, you know, kind of the best of both worlds.

CarolineI like her so much better as a vampire than a human, is that wrong?

IsobelWe all knew Jenny Schecter was a vampire already, this is just more upfront about it.

TWILIGHT

Esme and Alice CullenDoes the fact that they’re not really mother and daughter makes it any less creepy that I think they make a nice looking couple? OK, still no.

RosalieI’m just going to say it, I don’t like Nikki Reed as a blonde.

JaneDoes the fact that her character is, like, 1,000 years old make it any less creepy that she is actually 16? OK, still no.

So, which lady vamps do it for you? Who sucks the least, figuratively? Or the most, literally? Yes, I know I went there with all the bad puns. Bite me.