Big girls don’t cry

So, while reading The New York Times coverage of the Golden Globes I learned two things: 1) Christina Hendricks is a “big girl.” And 2) Jennifer Aniston, Kate Hudson and Courteney Cox have “put on a little weight,” particularly in their “upper arms.” It’s moments like this when I’m certain a forehead-sized dent will appear on my desk from all the times my head keeps hitting it with frustration.

The former was in a critique of Christina’s dress (“You don’t put a big girl in a big dress.”), which I thought it looked lovely – all delightful peach against the delicious cream of her skin. And the latter was in a back-handed compliment about some actresses’ supposed weight gain with the headline: “Now Scrutinizing – A Rounder Globes.” Oy. [EDIT: Both posts were sadly written by women. Double oy.]

The Christina item also first ran with a distorted photo that – surprise, surprise – made Christina look more squat. The post now runs with an editor’s note saying the photo was “slightly distorted inadvertently due to an error during routine processing” and has since been replaced. Funny how that “error during routine processing” didn’t stretch her to look skinnier instead.

Look, I’m not sure in what universe Christina is a “big girl.” Yes, portions of her body are large – two in particular. But being curvaceous does not equal big. It’s like when Jennifer Lopez was being called full-figured just because she had an ass. This is the deranged looking glass of the beauty business.

Same goes for the Jennifer/Kate/Courteney arms race. Instead of just celebrating what the author perceives as their new, somewhat heavier physiques, the blurb makes sure to call them round both in the title and the story. Just imagine if they’d used the word “healthier” instead of “rounder.” Also, man, I’d kill for fat upper arms like theirs.

I guess what bugs me about these stories the most is that publications still feel it’s standard practice to comment on women’s shapes and sizes. I don’t recall any Globes fashion pieces commenting on “pudgy Ricky Gervais” or “bloated-faced Gerard Butler.” If a guy puts on weight, it’s unspoken. When a woman does, it’s just open season. It’s just so...tiring.

Though, I guess I should really thank the NYT. Because without their, shall we say, weighty commentary, I wouldn’t get to post more pictures of the Christina. And that, for me, really is big.